http://dev.dadsnational.org/blog Catch up on what D.A.D.S. members have to say... en john.goodrich@dadsnational.org Copyright 2010 2010-02-20T00:29:00-05:00 http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/dads_gear_now_available/ http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/dads_gear_now_available/#When:00:29:00Z Attention all DADS - our gear is now available online! Just click on the SHOP link on the menu bar and follow the directions there. 2010-02-20T00:29:00-05:00 http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/were_on_facebook/ http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/were_on_facebook/#When:02:43:00Z We’ve added a D.A.D.S. Group page on Facebook for our friends and anyone who would like to connect with us there. Hope to see you there! 2009-11-23T02:43:00-05:00 http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/dads_golf_outing/ http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/dads_golf_outing/#When:22:28:00Z Join us for the 7th Annual D.A.D.S. golf outing. In just a few short years, the D.A.D.S. golf outing has become one of the largest outings in the midwest, raising nearly $400,000 for D.A.D.S. and Down Syndrome Indiana, and offering our sponsors exposure to our annual field of over 300 golfers. D.A.D.S. is an organization of fathers dedicated to enhancing the lives of their children who happen to have Down syndrome. D.A.D.S. was started in Indianapolis in 2002 and now boasts over 500 members and 30 chapters in the US, Canada, the UK and Australia. Our mission is simple: To assist and support, through fellowship and action, the fathers and families of individuals with Down syndrome. We need golfers and sponsors! For more information,please see: http://www.dadsnational.org/golf 2009-04-03T22:28:00-05:00 http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/what_dads_has_done_for_me/ http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/what_dads_has_done_for_me/#When:02:59:00Z What DADS has done for me as a person and a father can not be described in a paragraph or two. I could write an entire book on how DADS has changed my life. One day I may, but for now, I will give some high points of my time as a DADS member, and of the time, that for me, set my journey as a member of DADS in motion. Several years ago around 2004, when DADS was growing and we needed some direction, James May, Director of The Fathers Network in Washington St. came to Indianapolis to help us, as a group, get better organized. We held a brain-storming session with maybe 10 guys. We were talking about what we needed as fathers and how we can expand to help other fathers of children with Down syndrome. We were getting great information and making progress. After a while, we were talking about how we were informed of our child’s condition and our response to the news. Some of the guys told their stories and I finally told mine. I haven’t told anyone of my experience for six years, and on that day, in a meeting with ten other men that I barely knew, I told of when I went outside at the hospital the night after Katie was born, at 1 in the morning in February and cussed God for ten minutes, screaming at him and asking: “Why? You are supposed to be a kind and compassionate God, but now you put this hardship on Stef? WHY?” After I told about my experience, I had tears in my eyes and the other guys did also. I was embarrassed and told the guys that “if you want to have this kind of support group where we pity each other, I want nothing to do with it.” Those weren’t my exact words, but this is a family letter. I got up, stormed from the room and left. Some of the guys found me and convinced me that this group we are involved in will not be that way. I came back into the meeting and I have never looked back. I have been with the DADS for roughly eight years, and I have overcome my anti-social ways. I didn’t like being around people, or being “out of my comfort zone”, which meant staying around the house and talking to my two or three friends I had at the time. I became the Social DAD and was responsible for setting up social activities for the kids and ourselves. Isn’t it ironic that I was somewhat anti-social, and became Social Chair? I enjoyed setting up and organizing events. I reckon it is a form of therapy. I have helped with our Buddy Walk and I even volunteered to Chair it one time. I was asked to be Interim DADS President and I ENJOY doing the things I do for and with DADS. I told one of the guys awhile back about the friendships that have formed within DADS. I work with 150 people, and I may have four “friends” there. I get along with everyone, but I will not confide in them the things that go on in my life. Thre are only a couple of people I can do that with. With the DADS group, I have made countless friends. These are guys I hang out with: go to a race or a football game. Go fishing with and have a drink or dinner with. These guys are my friends in every sense of the word. They have been there for me on countless occasions, whether I was using them as a “sounding board” for a problem, or to get me out and relax. Or they call just to say “Hey”. I owe my well being to these guys, because if it weren’t for DADS, I cringe at where and what I would be now. I want to spread the mission of DADS, because if they could help me, I know that they (we) can help anyone 2009-03-19T02:59:00-05:00 http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/a_busy_day_in_indy1/ http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/a_busy_day_in_indy1/#When:01:36:00Z Last week was a busy week for Indy DADS. We had the Hardee's Share Breakfast on Sat morning, where 20% of pre-tax sales went to Down Syndrome Indiana. This is an event that has coincided with our Buddy Walk for the last several years and it has been, and continues to be a great relationship. The Share Breakfast started because of the love a local Hardee's Manager felt for a young boy and his father, who every Saturday morning would go to Hardee's around the corner and have breakfast. The manager fell in love with Nash and his father, Jeff, and asked if she could help with our cause in any way. Jeff jumped onto the opportunity to build a relationship with the restaurant and Hardee's restaurants all across Central Indiana participate in this event. Anyway, families from all over Indiana converged on their local Hardee's and had a great breakfast and helped spread the word about Down syndrome. It was a huge success. A group of DADS were getting ready for The First Annual DADS Poker Run, which started in Muncie, Indiana and traveled south through various towns, burgs and cities. The family and I greeted the riders as they came rolling in on their machines. It was a sight to behold. Glad I got some pictures. After the riders left South Side of Indy, to travel back to Muncie, the family and I went to Lifetime Fitness to have an afternoon of fun, friendship and food. The 3 most important "F" words in language. This was an inclusive event with 20kids arriving with their parents in tow. We climbed the Rock Wall. Yep.I said we, because I climbed it also. That was another sight to see. The wife has pictures. Or tried to. After "The Wall", we went swimming and had pizza afterwards. During all of this time, TDK's were playing with the kids with Down syndrome, the parents were talking to each other, getting to know one-another and we were just having a good 'ol time. We left Lifetime Fitness, went home and I went to bed. It was a fun filled day, meeting old friends and making new ones. It is days like that, that remind me why I love being a part of DADS. Thanks guys for a wonderful day and I am looking forward to the next time we can all get together. Ray Glowner Indy DADS 2008-09-28T01:36:00-05:00 http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/welcome_to_dads/ http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/welcome_to_dads/#When:15:31:00Z As we approach the 6th anniversary of the first D.A.D.S. meeting (May, 2002), I think it’s important to look at history. While Dads Appreciating Down Syndrome, to my knowledge, is the first organized, father-specific group in the “BIG” Down syndrome community, we are almost 50 years behind the FIRST Down syndrome support group. As we approach the 6th anniversary of the first D.A.D.S. meeting (May, 2002), I think it’s important to look at history. While Dads Appreciating Down Syndrome, to my knowledge, is the first organized, father-specific group in the “BIG” Down syndrome community, we are almost 50 years behind the FIRST Down syndrome support group. Long before the majority of children born with Down syndrome were taken home from the hospital, before the clinical name of the majority of individuals with Down syndrome was Trisomy 21, and DECADES before the concept of person-first language……there was M.O.M.S.; Mothers of Young Mongoloids. The Virginia Slims slogan form the early 70’s springs to mind: “We’ve come a long way, baby” Those of us with children, Ds and TDK’s (typically developing kids), born in the last generation have witnessed a tremendous change in the role of fathers. Our involvement, unlike OUR fathers, started in the delivery room (OK…I’ll concede we could have a separate blog to discuss the merits of witnessing childbirth).  Society recognized the increasingly visible role of fathers; we take our kids to school, we shop with our kids, we take our turn with pediatrician visits, we don’t baby-sit our kids, we parent them, and society responded by installing changing tables in men’s rooms. Diaper bag designs became more unisex and we were taught about wash cycles and stain-sticking. (I never said ALL of these changes were good!) As fathers of individuals with Down syndrome, we “fight” for a world of inclusion and acceptance for our children. I think it’s important to note WE are the first generation of fathers to become recognized as MORE than bread winners and soccer and little league coaches.  Society views us differently than our fathers were viewed, BUT, how has our perception of OURSELVES evolved? WE still view ourselves as “fixers”, we “think” we are supposed to have the answers and we hold our emotions close to the vest….JUST like OUR fathers. We are often challenged by that perception and feel the weight of failure when we have a child with Down syndrome. Welcome to D.A.D.S, Dads Appreciating Down Syndrome. I’m Joe Meares and I’m generally referred to as the “founder” of D.A.D.S.  I’d like to say I had a vision or a master plan for D.A.D.S., but, the simple truth is much less grand. Peyton, the youngest of my four daughters has Down syndrome. She turned 10 on 12/26/07. I became a first time parent in early 1992 and I was a “progressive” father of the 90’s. I had my own diaper bag, I took my kids to all the pediatrician visits when shots were involved, I traveled solo by land and air with my kids and I asked to speak to the manager of every establishment without a changing table in the men’s room.  (OK, I did realize I was taking that plight a little too far when I questioned the manager of a “gentlemen’s club”!) I WAS ten feet tall and bulletproof, I HAD all the answers and I WAS Super Dad. I was cut down to size when Peyton was born. I didn’t know how to “fix” this “failure”. I often talk about the three stages of D.A.D.S. The moment I found out Peyton was born with Down syndrome, I went into the fist stage of D.A.D.S., a Dad AGAINST Down syndrome. Not against my child or individuals with Ds……..but, against this damn diagnosis that showed up, uninvited and I couldn’t FIX it. It was like 20 cubic yards of springtime mulch dumped on my driveway and I didn’t have a shovel! But soon I realized Peyton shared more similarities with her sisters than differences.  Different became unique and special didn’t always have to be followed by the word NEEDS. I was moving into step 2, I was becoming a dads ACCEPTING Down syndrome. I realized there was no failure and nothing needed fixing. Somewhere in step 2, I started regaining my confidence as Super Dad, blew the dust off my cape and became ready to, if not FIX Down syndrome, get some ownership of Down syndrome. As a dad looking for this “ownership”, I got to know a lot of………………..Moms. I got involved in the Down syndrome community and found a void.  I felt MY place in the Down syndrome community and in the experience of having a child who is “differently –abled” had been predetermined. I wasn’t getting the ownership I sought by grilling hotdogs at the Buddy Walk and the Down syndrome movement was driven my mothers.  There is certainly no one at fault. I think EVERY Ds support group began with some mothers around a kitchen table. EVERY Ds group’s mission, as it should be, is programs that serve individuals with Ds and support the family.  I was looking for something more! In March of 2002, I started collecting email addresses for the other hot dog grillers and invited the guys to a “just dads” meeting. Eight of us showed up with no real agenda other than the idea that we might benefit from a private forum. Something almost magical happened that night. Business cards and bank statements were left outside. We didn’t discuss football or golf. We just talked about our kids, our feelings, our personal journeys, our fears and we discovered EACH of us had pretty much the same void, that “ownership” component.  We also had FUN! We agreed to meet monthly and eight became 12, then 16, then 20, 30, 40 and six years later we usually have at least one new father show up for his first D.A.D.S. meeting. At about our forth meeting, in typical guy fashion, we realized we didn’t have a mission statement. We tackled this without haste, and in 15 minutes, our mission became: “To assist and support, through fellowship and action, the fathers and families of individuals with Down syndrome” At that meeting, we were just happy we completed the task. We had a really cool brand with our logo, now…we had a mission too. It took a year or two before I realized, we’d actually put together the perfect mission. It didn’t compete with our family Ds group because OUR goal, OUR consumer is the father first, then the family. We had the three equal “pillars” of our foundation, SUPPORT, FELLOWSHIP and ACTION! Each of these components plays a key role in meeting the diverse needs of our members. I strongly believe “The attitude of the father becomes the attitude of the family”.  I’ve seen the attitude in fathers change again and again once, through D.A.D.S., they find that ownership and THEIR sense of belonging in the Down syndrome community. This ownership is not only found In the monthly meetings, but at D.A.D.S./kids events, family social activities, our online list serve, fund raising, taking legislative action and learning what we don’t know and sharing what we do! Most importantly, the ownership comes when we find out we’re not alone. There IS a place we can openly and safely share our concerns and fears, we can BRAG about our child’s victories and accomplishments………and do this with others who TRULY understand. Welcome to D.A.D.S., Dads Appreciating Down Syndrome This is NOT a “support group” in the stereotypical mold: church basement, folding chairs, bad coffee in Styrofoam cups. Just as the roles of fathers have changed in our lifetime, D.A.D.S. addresses the changing roles of fathers in the Down syndrome movement with FELLOWSHIP, ACTION and SUPPORT. Oh, BTW, step 3, becoming a Dad APPRECIATING Down syndrome, hit me about seven years ago. My wife called me at work to tell me friends who were expecting a child went in for a routine ultrasound that displayed makers which indicated Down syndrome. I replied, “THAT’S GREAT”! We were both silent for a moment and after reflecting on what I said, I repeated…."that’s great”. Why wouldn’t I wish for my friends this wonderful experience I have. At that moment, I realized I’d developed a profound appreciation! (The child was not born with Down syndrome, but, because of his mother, is genetically predisposed to take his own silverware into restaurants…which puts him in need of a totally different support group!) Enjoy our website. Share what you know, learn what you don’t and just be a dad! 2008-02-21T15:31:00-05:00